Is My Partner Mature?

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Maturity in a relationship is a very important aspect for couples; something which is built throughout the process that has an affective relationship. In addition, the maturity of the couple is related or related to the psycho-affective maturity of each member of the same.

Psycho-affective maturity is based on the level of resolution of its own conflicts, which each person has and how he resolves them. This will guide a level of affective maturity that has an impact on the relationship of mate.

In addition, the couple itself will go through a series of maturity levels that is unique for each couple as it will depend on the individual characteristics of each person and the specificity of each couple.

However, beyond specificities, we can list some important aspects to determine the degree of maturity in a relationship:

  1. Respect for each other in every sense is one of the most important aspects.
  2. Healthy and open communication is another relevant aspect.
  3. The ability to transform your reality based on successful completion of projects together.
  4. Being able to feel love for each other over time.
  5. The ability to form a family group that is the subject of its reality and the one that surrounds it with an active position before it.
  6. The ability to maintain individual personal spaces for each member of the couple.
  7. Resolve the conflicts that arise and process them as a positive input to the experience of being a couple.
  8. Reciprocal sincerity.
  9. In depth knowledge, about your partner and of yourself.
  10. The support and support capacity that the couple can be for both of us.
  11. The expiration of prejudices and the capacity for freedom offered by the couple for both members.

In short, these can be very important aspects to take into account when establishing a mature and healthy relationship with your partner. Do you recognize some of them in your behavior and attitudes.

Communication is the Cornerstone of a Relationship

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Communicating with your partner is what makes a foundation for the happy relationship most couples strive for. This is, often overlooked however when people assess aspects of their relationship that they feel need attention.

Many couples end their relationships because they can't find an understanding. This lack of communication leads to fights, anger and resentment which in most average relationships can be resolved through an open dialog. You can prevent communication problems in your relationships by practicing some of the following tips. If you can apply some of these ideas you will be given the chance to avoid communication problems with your partner. It's amazing how small things can help, to be attentive and listen, or notice something good in the other person, all of which can improve your relationship.

Relationships in general can be difficult.

Communication is very cornerstone in the relationship; but it cannot betaken lightly, if so, without realizing its importance which lies in the fact that it helps us to grow we will neglect a central element that all successful couples share.

Many couples end their relationships because they can't find an understanding with their partner. This lack of communication then leads to those common three problems many list in therapy: fights, anger and resentment. Problems due to lack of communication are the result of:

  • A lot of talk, but not a lot of listening;
  • Use of indirect communication that does not make a clear point;
  • Showing a defensive attitude like being aggressive;
  • Dishonesty.

You can prevent communication problems in your relationships by practicing some of the following tips:

  1. When you meet with your partner, listen to what he or she has to say, think before you respond.
  2. Get to the point. There's no need to hide anything. Be open and clear so that misunderstood do not happen.
  3. Be honest and don't lie. The lie only leads to a lack of trust, doubt and resentment inside relationships.
  4. Try to be assertive. You need to understand the other person, but you must also express your feelings and ideas clearly. A relationship consists of two people so there must be two voices with a reasonable outcome.
  5. To improve communication in your relationship there must be openness on both sides. You can do this by sharing your experiences, the good and the bad. This will help both people relate on each other.
  6. When a discussion arises, avoid comments that will harm the other person. This includes generalizations and contempt. If you don't do this, you'll later feel sorry for what you said. It is also important that both exalt self-confidence and self-esteem.
  7. Find something good despite the negative. Let your partner have their own space by avoiding being a controller and insisting that they are always right.

If you can apply some of these ideas you may be able to avoid communication problems with your partner. It's amazing how small things we can do improve listening make a big difference when it comes to noticing something good in the other person.

Love is the Key To Happiness

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Love is absolute, it is equal towards all and all things, love is different from infatuation. Because love can be directed towards all people and things, instead infatuation is towards a person especially to whom we have chosen to share some form of intimacy, though limited in how much else we share, for example our fears, hopes, and dreams. Love does not seek personal convenience or favors above others. Love requires knowing the other person's flaws, seeing the good but also the bad of the relationship and working together to build it into something long lasting and healthy. And in the instance of infatuation that transforms; this is when we start to see the person for who they are with all of their flaws and the idealization disappear, and we can look more critically and move beyond the facade that people erect to protect their inner-selves. You do not usually see the flaws when we idealize because that is the very definition of idealization. The person and looks perfect, and looks perfect no matter what they show us to counter that impression, only after a period of time can this become true love.

And that is what I wanted to talk about today. Love. Marriage. In general the development which takes place after we have walked down the aisle. For one, weddings are that point in the road where our paths unite and we take that new course.

So what is love? What is it really?

When we are asked to categorize it, the majority say that it is a cornerstone in the process of building a future with another person. People don't fall in love everyday. We do not use it to describe our feelings about something. It is even present in most friendships. Unless it is professional, few choose to maintain contact with someone if there isn't some sense of mutual love, no matter the size present. In most cases this love will not be vocalized.

So what is love, truly? At its heart, it is a willingness to open up and contact with another person on a deeper and long lasting level.

This is what marriage is.

Some compared the feeling to euphoria. Though some choose to liken it to madness as it also creates a state of stagnation or forgetfulness of everything around you, where you can lose the notion of time, you do not see, you do not hear or feel it, you only think about it, but being in love is one of the best things that can happen in this life. And those who have fallen in love have also learned what happiness really is. This is leads to the desire to spend a lifetime together.

There are more than enough sources that explore the institution of marriage. An industry has grown around it so that none of our heart's desires are left wanting. A wedding today is only limited by our imagination, the subsequent implementation a matter of finding the pieces we need. We are almost bombarded by options at hand; Themes, decorations, menus, and everything else are ready for us. You can find the right look no matter what you need. Which presents a nearly an unimaginable assortment of paper products; ranging from the first step, save the date down to invitations, menus, and thank yous. The piecemeal nature of wedding planning is long gone. The act of marriage is streamlined. You just need to know what you want.

In the off chance than instagram and pinterest are not enough to inspire us we can organize a wedding planner and things become even easier.

And while they may ease the planning of our wedding, the real work is done by love. And in its absence there is little that can be done to make the resulting marriage work.

But then love has many definitions.

Love is something that has many definition but one root feeling because it is the greatest thing that can happen to a human being; love is the answer to many questions held in our hearts, questions that every human being should find an answer to in their lives. If you were to describe happiness how would you do it? Love is a difficult thing to explain, difficult to find, difficult to live, but when true love is found, you can come to the conviction of knowing that this world has been reached.

This is the ability to be happy, and to make others happy. Love is not spiteful, there is no hatred in it, it does not become enlivened, it is not momentary or ephemeral, love knows how to forgive, love does not rejoice in injustice… Love is not boastful, it does not boast of itself. Love all believes love all endures it. True love doesn't hate. … to love you have to be brave, because to love, you must stop hating. You must be honest with yourself and willing to expose yourself, and that can be frightening, but is happiness not worth that?

Friendship In A Digital Age

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This internet allows us to make connections from around the world, it gives us the opportunity to have communication with many people from different walks of life, even if they are thousands of miles away. The only options for such contact just a few decades ago were via mail (slow) and long distance telephone calls (expensive).

Today I can met people, characters (yes, you read that correctly) "characters" because they play a role, I don't know them personally, or if they really are who they say they are. At best, they show a part of their personality in which they hope shows the best part of their character without realizing it, well, that is now always true, but that's another story that I hope to tell you later.

Their is some truth to the argument that they are doing the same in their personal life, but that is a subject for another day as well.

I met a special person last year, from the first day we spoke it was as if we knew each other all our lives, it was as if we just stopped talking for a while and our reunion was wonderful. In other words we connected really well. Needless to say we got carried away by everything and had some very happy moments together thanks to this wonderful thing that we call technology.

When we say love we often reserve it for romantic relationships but it is more than that. To love some one does not mean you desire physical intimacy. We felt so much love since that first meeting which came from our hearts. Still, long heartfelt conversations sometimes need to be punctuated with a hug. So we meet. We gave eachother that longed-for embrace and felt each others warmth, I will never forget that. At this point it is important to note that we really don't live that far from one another. A couples of hours drive. The distance was not immense, but that is relative, thanks to the internet we were able to connect, something that would have been impossible otherwise.

The internet brings people together.

Lunch With King Arthur

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It is rare that the words "everything is hectic" could mean something positive, but in our case they did. My boyfriend and I booked a table at a local restaurant that is lovingly know as King Arthur's around here. Don't ask me why since they have nothing to do with one another. Maybe, the owner is named Arthur. Anyway, it is expensive. When we were finished eating the chef came out to our table and asked if everything was satisfactory. It was so delicious. Then he presented me with a small desert. I was full but couldn't do anything but accept. And? Well a ring was wrapped around the small napkin…and I am engaged!

My boyfriend is now my fiancee!

What Is True Love

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It's not easy to distinguish between lust and true love. Most people have grown up believing in the idea of true love.

Film loves to feature romantic stories in which an attractive girl and boy meet and although they do not know one another at all, they fall in love with one another instantly, knowing that they have been made for each other. In the scope of a movie this might be necessary given that they run only two hours. But is that realistic? If so film romances strike faster than lightning! While they show this relationship as love, is this true love?

Let's face it, if you don't get to know somebody then you cannot love them. Sure you can get a crush. A whim starts quickly. Maybe, a boy may be attracted to a girl who smiles kindly at him. He might be the only one that feels something, but she may understand his attraction and respond. The idea of being attractive to another person ignites a certain amount of excitement. When it is fresh and new, everyone wonders, "What's happening to me? I've never felt this way before. I'm probably in love. I think I've finally found the right person for myself."

But has that person really fallen in love with the other person—or have they fallen in love with love! If everything feels like it has fallen into place it might be coming from internally. It takes a greater understanding and connection to safely say: "I'm in love. I think I've finally found the right person for me."

That beautiful feeling of being in love is never a permanent condition without something deeper coming from both partners. Without mutual understanding it's a feeling and feelings come and go. You may be on cloud nine with this beautiful feeling, but if you expect to find it so easily can you expect to hold on to it as easily? Can you accept that you have found it and not become board with it? To think that you will live the rest of your life at that top you will be setting yourself up for a great disappointment.

True love, is more than a beautiful feeling—it's a commitment. A commitment is a decision backed by actions.

Many love relationships develop into solid partnerships, especially when emotional communication proves to be stable and sustainable outside the sexual aspect of a relationship. In a love affair in which no partnership is sought or expected, or which is conducted in parallel with an existing partnership, one speaks of a love affair, a liaison, an extramarital sexual relationship in which sex is paramount. In all these cases can one really speak of true love?

Love is the search for a partner one can trust and share a life, this is why people marry. In true love they are sure in each other's love, despite the presence or absence of romantic feelings at that current moment.

Lust itself is a form of selfish love. First and foremost it is a love generated by what the other person can do for him or her at that point. That form of love always seeks convenience and well-being, not that of the other person's wellbeing. It's selfish and one sided. It's erotic at its heart, that's why it's called Eros after the Greek god who ruled over "Lust, Sex, Eroticism and Sensual Desires" . The person who only has that kind of love uses the other person and does not care about the welfare or the relationship. They live according to their feelings and not according to a commitment.

The opposite of Eros, Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity," which can be seen as a form of true love. It is a constant love. The partner always wants the best for the other person.

This kind of love is true love. Don't settle for selfish love, a love that only thinks of itself. Seek true love, love Agape, the love it gives, and gives, and continues to give. Seek God first to experience that love and you will never again settle for selfish love or be a person you selfishly love. It's really worth it.

Love gives, it does not take.

Intimacy Comes From Within

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Many couples feel dissatisfied with their relationship on a sexual level and blame their partner; unable to think that there may be other reasons why they don't enjoy sex.

Today, it has become increasingly common to use copulation as a way to express other feelings, or as a way to solve other situations that have nothing to do with intercourse itself. Thus, the erotic relationship becomes a loaded experience, one with a lot of feelings; yet one stripped of its true and subsequent strength, which at the same time inevitably causes dissatisfaction, frustrations, and a sense of lacking.

Research into sexual health has brought forth example that spontaneity to become affectionate and show affection does not often exist between such couples. Thus, many people confuse making love their partner as the only way to expression in how they feel about each other. When this happens, needs are confused, and intimate moments lose passion and are no longer pleasant. Men are more prone to bundling sex together with the expression of love than do women. Today this is less acceptable, what was once one of the only culturally acceptable ways for a man to show affection to his wife is now a limitation.

It is true that sex can be a way of expressing affection, but it is also true that sex must be primarily pleasant for both parties and it is important that there are also other ways of giving and receiving affection that should not disappear in the couple's relationship. To avoid this confusion, it is important that they are clear about their emotional needs on the one hand, and on the other the sexual needs which are present in all healthy couples, without the former diminishing the latter.

So it's important to make it clear that it would be nice to kiss every night before bed, or a hug during the day. Hugging is important because it releases increase levels of oxytocin and reduces blood pressure. There is little question why it is universal in human communities. It is also recommended that the couple take at least 10 minutes every night to be nearby each other and cuddle with their partner without erotic intentions. Cuddle will fill the sentimental desire so that sexual desire can be enjoyed more broadly.

Another wrong reason why many couples make love with one another is to make peace in the household (makeup sex), to be distracted with something else, to combat stress, or compensate for the problems of everyday life. This situation causes a serious problem for many couples, because the person who uses it, that flees into sex, will get used to not facing life and hide in their moments of passion, so that they will soon stop being able to enjoy the moment, and in addition, the other person will never learn to support their partner if it is not a topic easily address which will prevent them from communicating and end up relating sex to help, which completely undermines its potential.

In order to resolve stressful situations in the home it is necessary to learn to open a dialog and to comment sincerely on one's feelings. It is also essential to say what is expected of sex, the needs that are present in the relationship and the gaps in other areas which are not replaced with sexual contact. Likewise, the couple must understand that the pleasure of both is important.

Likewise, some people will evade sex and avoid emotional interaction with their partner, always seeking intimate contact. Instead of talking about their problems they may want to have sex. In this circumstance, what needs to be made clear is that sex is not a substitute for emotions. It complements them and is undeniable that it brings the couple closer, but you must have communication at all levels for it to function, a relationship must include all aspects to be satisfying both erotically and emotionally.

Another common issue in an unhealthy relationship is that some people vent all their frustrations and anger in the sexual act. This is not healthy because you can hurt the couple in a very aggressive outburst, or you can stop enjoying sex, because it always reminds us of the problems of daily life. Alternate to this it might also become enjoyable which is a sign of deeper issues. To avoid all this, we must have true and sincere communication with our partner and also know how to discern when we are not in optimal condition to make love.

In those moments, an intimate conversation or hug may be more effective for the couple.

Anyway, as you can see, it's easier for a sexual relationship to deteriorate by the emotional burden of sex that is added over time, rather than time itself. When the couple manages to get rid of all those non-intimate reasons, they will immediately enjoy the experience more and will be able to experience new horizons.