Don’t Be Afraid – Show Your Love

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The opposite of war is love and the opposite of love is not hate, it is fear.

What is love? Love is the basis for a healthy relationship, and every healthy relationship is a garden, a mystery that happens, for example, between two people, a garden that depends on both people to flourish. In this encounter where a new universe is created, in that encounter where phenomena happen and where both people are exchanged and transformed. This is a lot easier than it sounds when you understand love, what it does for you and how one embraces it inside the context of a relationship.

When two people meet they are two separate worlds, how they meet and if they hit it off is something sometimes tremendously complex. Each person is a world unto themselves, a complex mystery throughout their past and their finite future.

When we enter into a relationship, no matter how close, it is initially located on the periphery border of our experiences. If it is allowed to grow it will reach intimacy, it will become deeper, and it will have an impact on our future. If you are in your center and the other person is at its center, those two centers will begin to get closer and closer and something we call love with unite the two. This is the opposite of war, which tears apart and destroys it does not create.

When the encounter is peripheral we can say that we are only befriended. Even here we can touch each other, we can even have sex, but it will be from the edges of our borders, that's an intimately close acquaintance This "friend with benefits," should not be seen as somebody we are in love with, as intimacy and lust is something else entirely when it does not flow from love.

No, love is so much more than simple lust or desire.

To get to know a person, to reach that center is to go through a great change personally, something that takes time; this profound inner revolution which occurs because if you want to get to know a person at their center you will have to allow this change to happen. And that change is the longing, the with that we all make, to get to know that person, to let them help us get another perspective, a companion for life who helps us avoid the holes and heal wounds that we all have.

If you want a relationship, one that is deeper, that it is not a peripheral but profound you have to allow that person to also get to know you (the real you), for which you must become a vulnerable, open person, and this demands a greater risk, it is dangerous because you never know how much that person could harm you by knowing your deepest secrets, everything that we have hidden for a long time, not only to others, but to ourselves and now that can be exposed, and that's where fear comes in, so it's not very easy to open up, because fear directly touches our vulnerability, our feeling of rejection, of failure. It leaves us thinking "I'm going to expose myself and they may leave me."

What we're hiding is an idea of what's inside of us, maybe it's not good and, when they really know me, maybe they're going to "abandon me," so there are so many people who have this mechanism of protection that rationalizes ending relationships before anything happens, before that idea has to end the relationship, people who stay on the periphery border because they are unable to deepen a relationship, because deep down the relationship has never taken hold, leave the relationship before the relationship has a chance to leave them. This is to abandon before being abandoned. Why? Because we want to be hurt, we are not willing to risk finding out.

There are married couples, there are lovers both who have been together for many years and who are only known on that superficial level, who have never really connected with each other; and there are situations where the more you live with someone, the more you forget that center of balance you built with your partner early on. They remain lovers on the periphery of their lives, even if they are lovers of years they know nothing about each other.

Sex is the same, as it can be making love on the periphery. Unless the centers are united, sex results only in the encounter between two bodies and not at the soul.

Sex is only love when both people feel it in a sexual relationship, when the are at their center truly in love, in that case not only is sex love, but sex is sublime, it is eternal.

And when we allow someone to enter our center:

We're without out fear.

The person oriented towards love is someone who does not fear the future, who does not fear the one who stands next to them, who opens up, who is exposed and does not fear the result or the consequences of opening themselves up to someone else.

Milka: The World’s Best Milk Chocolate

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I love Milka, for me there is rarely a chocolate that lives up to the taste and texture of the Milka chocolate. But while I love it, I am often (still) surprised to learn that not everyone knows about it. SO I am trying to fix that today. No they haven't bribed me with a truck load of chocolate (hint, hint, nudge, nudge) but they don't need to either. It has established itself in my life since I was a child. It was the first (that I remember) chocolate that my grandmother bought me. And it has been our special treat ever since.

With this original bars getting popular again it appears that Milka aims to give value to the brand beyond the one it already had, they want the brand to be associated with tenderness, good gestures with friends and family, as well as remembrance (my grandmother and I fit into this category).

In addition, it appears that they carried out another promotion recently they embrace the act of sharing. Specifically, the commercial with the last piece of chocolate. Showing that the last ounces of chocolate are just as important as the first and have quite a lot of value when they are allowed to. For me it stated that if you share it with someone it will be because you really care.

With these messages at the heart of Milka's intentions, it is clear to see that they are regarding the brand, the value given to the consumer is pretty clear. In addition, Milka has focused on "tenderness" which as been the main theme since the 1960s, they want the public not to think of Milka as a simple brand of chocolates, rather the brand comes to mind from a loved one and their endearing actions, this tenderness that is imparted through their intentions.

That is an idea I can fully support.

Age Disparity in a Relationship

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Today I wanted to hit on a topic that still seems un-addressed. Age disparity in relationships that cause a power imbalance. The list contains ten reasons why it's wrong to fall in love with someone older… This contributes to a theory several friends and I came to several years ago, which we began to see embodied in how many of us date.

The age difference in a sexual relationship is a common feature in many modern relationships. Social acceptance of age difference and concept about what is considered a significant age difference has varied over time, and also depends on different cultures and different legal systems, not to forget ethical reasons.

According to a 2010 study of 22,400 subjects in North America, Europe, Australia, and Japan, women showed no preference for much younger men. According to this study, women are generally interested in men of the same age or slightly older. This study also supports the different types of relationships (e.g. Enjokasai, Sugardaddy, Trophy Wife) that younger women with older men enter into for various reasons. An earlier study had also shown this result.

While the findings are more favorable for this construct we as a society often look less favorably toward the reverse.

While terms like mistress and girlfriend are the common words used to describe an older man and younger woman. Woman are see as cougars, sugar mommies (with Boy Toys), or MILFs. This is how our culture describes different types of women's interests in younger male sexual partners or vice versa, and are supported, for example, by a 2003 study by the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP). After that, 34% of women over the age of 40 meet with younger men. Likewise, many older women have been paying younger lovers for sexual adventures in many of the tourist resorts in the Caribbean, Asia and Africa for several decades.

According to another 2003 study by the Office for National Statistics for England and Wales, the number of women married to younger men rose from 15% to 26% between 1963 and 1998.

According to the US Census Bureau, there were fewer than half a million couples in the United States in 1997 with an age difference of at least ten years. In 2003, however, there were about 3 million couples in which the man was at least six years younger than the woman. International online dating services, such as match.com with about 20 million members, note an increase in the proportion of women in their databases who would like to meet a man who is at least ten years younger.

In today's Western society, many divorced older women are socially and financially independent.

Whether or not this type of relationship structure will become more normalized in our society is yet to be seen.

One point that is still relevant, however, is the problem that age disparity (10 years) plays in a relationship.

Well Dressed

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A while ago I heard someone say (or I might have read it in some magazine (or saw it in a movie…)) that "you must dress for the job you want and not for the one you have".

Alright I thought, how do dress if you want to become Queen of England?

Seriously though, I think that the logic is pretty sound, but what if your budget doesn't for allow it? Let's remember that we don't have that dream job yet…so if you don't have it you can't exactly dress for it without hurting your bank account.

What if you don't have the figure to wear the kind of clothes you're supposed to wear? The problem was one that I wrestled with for a while. Because, let's admit, not all clothes are suitable for all jobs. And not all jobs allow you to wear the most suitable clothes. Beyond that I need to take my body type into consideration.

What if we weren't born with that innate grace to style our hair or combine pieces to make amazing styles? For example my hair never wants to cooperate, so in the end I chose to cut my hair shorter so I don't have to worry.

I am sure that both you and I, have a lot of clothes in the closet that we do not like for one reason or another. For example I have plenty I am not able to combine–purchased only because I was thinking that it will look great for work, or to go out, or to just be me! Don't you hate sales! Now instead of hanging on the store rack it is their, hanging on yours and taking up space.

And what have I decided? After taking an inventory on my closet craze I have decided to make a radical change, to it and to my style, and the way I buy. And I intend to apply the 3 simple rules to do it:

Reduce–Recycle–Reuse.

So I'm minimizing the purchases I make (both clothing and accessories) and reusing and recycling clothes I already had in the closet: lengthening dresses, shortening sleeves, adding DIY details to customize the accessories… I even started to make my own jewellery!! This has given me a better idea about accents, so that I am not wrong when it comes to combining an outfit.

Finally I hope that by sharing this with you, what I was able to learn, you are encouraged to follow a similar path (if, like I, you were lost), and help you get the most out of your closet. I am satisfied.

A big greeting and a big hug, thank you for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed my post.

Gestures in Non-Verbal Language

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Gestures, they say as much or more than is verbally said.

Here I leave you some very common nonverbal language gestures (body language), which we have almost all experienced in one form or another.

This very interesting one:

Fixing your hair: Many people feel that it is a feminine gesture; suggests discreet provocation, flirtation. But this can't be further from the truth, many researches agree that it is a sign of discomfort or uncertainty.

Adjusting your tie: It is a often perceived as the male equivalent to the previous one. The same message can manifest itself when the person fixes the crease on their trouser leg, smooths the flaps of their jacket, the handkerchief in the jacket pocket, etc.

Biting a lip: The same message above, with a certain shyness and nervousness showing through.

Caressing an unconsciously determined object: It is a gesture typical of individuals who have become distracted or disinterested.

A smile with a direct look: Suggests discreet provocation or a developed sense of self.

The classic top-down look: It depends on the situation, it can highlight the characteristic of a person who is assessing the situation or a person.

Open hands: It is a characteristic gesture of sincere people who is comfortable.

Clenched fist: The opposite reveals nervousness tension, the truth is hidden, and hostility.

Slumped shoulders: Suggests inability to cope with certain situations in life.

If the person sits with their legs together: Denotes a careful, orderly and careful personality.

If the individual crosses the leg at an angle: It is ambitious. Competitive. It's a rare attitude, often seen in athletes.

If the person sits on one leg: It can suggest a very conformist personality that is not easy to make decisions.

The woman who sits with her legs open: Reveals independence, a very defined concept of her image.

The tight cigarette holder: Denotes an intense, restless and erratic personality.

Blinking (constantly): Denotes total attention.

Looking at a person frequently: Shows affection.

Not looking at a person: Suggests rejection ("I'm not interested" or you don't share my sympathies).

A prolonged look with a serious face: Reveals curiosity in the beginning, can go as far as contempt.

When a man looks sideways (with some frequency): It is a sign of hypocrisy.

Touching a person too much (without equal reciprocation): Can mean; a degree of selfishness, control (or physical desire).

If man touches the genital area: It is a common gesture in some cultures and denotes a male reaffirmation (a these cultural structures expect reaffirmation in various ways).

The person walks very quickly: It suggests a dynamic, restless personality, eager to meet goals (either their own or from external sources) that have been set to be completed in a certain time.

If the individual walks with hesitant steps: Denotes a hesitant, erratic, insecure, shy and tired personality from the onslaughts received in their life.

Then we have other aspects of non-verbal language:

The forced smile is the one that becomes a kind of mask for our true feelings, it is the so-called professional smile (its greatest cultists are politicians, businessman actors).

Obsession with clothes and the way one dresses: Not only is an exhibitionist personality projected, but an independent rebellious character is demonstrated.

Playing with any object: It is clear that what this person is afflicted with nervousness, restlessness, anxiety, and they are actually trying to buy time and preparing to give an adequate response.

Look at the clock as you speak: Denotes haste and restlessness.

Look at the clock while someone else speaks: It's a rude gesture that reveals impatience.

The Magic of Love

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Love will always be present in our lives and hearts despite time, distance and situations. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can appear to have diminished the spark that made your relationship so special at first.

This isn't the case, however, realizing that it is there may have become less visible.

Here's some simple, fun and creative ideas to rekindle that magic which the two of you once shared. Chances are you've already thought about them. Don't be afraid to be cheesy, on the contrary they can give you incredible results. Sharing laughter is free and when done with the person you love an incredible way to bond an rekindle the spark.

Here are a few options:

Surprise: Send Them A Unique Gift

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childish picture with a smiling sun and two figurines taken from your hands. Add tags with their two names by pointing to the figurines. Write 'I love you' inside a heart. Then get a big formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type a formal label with the address of your partner's work, such as: "For the urgent and immediate attention of: Their Name, Their Address" Send it to your partner to receive in the middle of a hectic day.

Play: Connect With Your Inner Child (And Your Partner)

If you're walking by a park, visit the swings and playground equipment. Play on the beach. This usually brings back happy memories of his childhood.

Tenderness: A Massage With A Twist

Buy a small decorated cardboard box, a colored tissue paper sheet, some massage oil and a blank card. Put the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: "I know a great masseuse. For an appointment call: (Your phone number)"

Fond Memories: Dreams Of A Child

Contact your partner's family and ask if there was anything they always wanted when they were little. For example, if your wife always wanted a special doll, buy her one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were considerate enough to find out what she always wanted. You can do this for your husband, too.

The Moments: Look At The Clouds

Drive to a field, find a green hill, and lie back and look at the clouds.

Activities: Walk On The Beach

Draw the shape of a big heart in the sand. Sit inside your heart and caress your partner as you watch the sunset.

Togetherness: Organize A Picnic In Your Backyard Or Balcony On A Warm Summer Night

Place a picnic blanket on the ground and eat some snacks, chocolates and drink champagne together. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and look at the stars.

Caring: Show Your Partner That You Are Thankful

Leave a long-stemmed rose for your partner to find, with a note that says "Thank you for entering my life."

Intimacy: Keep Your Sex Life Alive

Probably the deepest way to rekindle romance in your relationship is to spice up your sex life. Surprise your partner with a small gift after making love, try a new position, learn to give a sensual massage to your partner (before or after), or simply spend your time looking into each other's eyes and stroking your bare skin before making love.

Many people underestimate the intimate and passionate effect that sex has on the couple. If you spice it up, you and your partner will probably do romantic things naturally. Why? Because making love passionately connects two people in a meaningful and inexplicable way that is not achieved with anything else.

Today is the Day

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Today, my love, is the day you chose to come into the world to cheer everyone up, today is the day you made the world more beautiful, more perfect. Today is another day of your life, to which you complete another year, this is special to you, and especially for me, for having you by my side.

Happy Birthday!

Back from the Weddings

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On Friday we left at 10 o'clock, we both took the day free, it took us about twenty minutes to get to the court house. I have only been there once before when I was in junior high on a field trip, I think that the chambers looked almost identical. I remember finding the leather chairs old fashioned, but our friend Justin (who met us outside) loved them.

We were there for Lindsey and Jennifer, who have been visiting over the last week, as they were going to marry. The officiant gave a fine (rehearsed or timeworn) talk about love and the importance of being a decent partner and things went off without a hitch. Okay, they were hitched but that was the point. Afterwards we drank champaign together and shouted hooray and the officiant gave them a small gift on behalf of the the city, a great nice book about, well the city, but it was was wrapped nicely in what I can only say was the biggest bow I have ever seen. We wrote in the guestbook and took pictures and in general we were all moved! I cried. Hector was in addition to the officiant was the best dressed, with designer shirt and tie and he has a generally neat manére!

Afterwards, the group went down to the café and drank coffee and ate cake (Lindsey and Jennifer had ordered) to the radio (which was playing pop chart music).

In the evening we ate dinner at the hotel (which offers the best food in the city) and it was so really nice to celebrate Lindsey and Jennifer's marriage, we ended up coming late to bed but the weather had been perfect and full of joy!

Saturday we were out again early. Another couple we know from college were married in a lovely church wedding, at 10 o'clock, though we first had been invited for coffee at her mother's house, though we just got to get a glimpse of the bride before she drove home and switched into a beautiful off-white wedding dress with lace. The wedding and reception were perfect in every way possible. Not that anyone had any doubts about that, but the food was too rich for my taste and by the time I finished the cake I was done. It all became a tad too much for me and we left a little earlier than our friends expected. But I was actually throwing a bit up when we wrote in the guestbook…not that any landed in it. But the bride and groom were happy, about as happy as could be. They organized a choir for the live music, who sang for them and even did a rendition of their favorite song. It was so cute.

And I am still exhausted, it is going to be a long week.

A “Love” of Biology

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Biology is an important science whose ultimate purpose is to study life, from its origin to its completion.

And it is also one of the subjects which I currently study. One might think that a subject like biology that usually occurs in the curriculum as simply filler, it would be easy to argue as most people do not study toward a degree in biology, but this is not the case. It can never been seen as filler, as biology is a subject that we apply in many careers and as one of the subjects with higher time load and importance it is easy to fall behind in with mindsets as such.

Like most of my career partners, I'm interested in math and everything related to numbers, subjects that biology shares little in common with. Especially for me, there are a number of difficulties when studying biology as I do not like memorization or studying a huge list of text. But what can we do? For students like me who don't like memorization there are some general ways to avoid falling behind or ending up in a rut?

Well, I'm not the subject matter expert, but by force I've learned some very useful tips:

Battling Distractions

A student who lives on a college campus has his friends around, a house to in relax already has several places of distraction. This can be negative when the time comes to study, as naturally we will prefer to be doing anything other than studying. So you have to stay focused on the goal and book a day to dedicate it completely to the material at hand.

Visualize Your Goal

You always have to plan which topics to cover and what results you want to get from the study session, so planning ahead is the best option.

Understand That There Are No Shortcuts

You have to be very clear that there is no magical way to learn from one moment to the next, you have to be ready to work hard. Biology at the university level is a demanding subject, this must be very clear from the beginning.

Change Your Attitude Towards Matter

Yes, just as you hear it; attitude is the key to success. With a simple change of attitude you can achieve amazing things.

Study

In this time of life every person must know the method that works most, be this mental maps, mnemonics, pure and hard memorization, focus on key concepts, group session, etc. Get the most out of your favorite study method to generally get the best possible results.

I consider these tips very useful since they not only focus on the study itself, but also on your attitude towards matter and habits in general. (And who knows? Maybe I'll put them into practice someday.) ¯_(ツ)_/¯

Is My Partner Mature?

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Maturity in a relationship is a very important aspect for couples; something which is built throughout the process that has an affective relationship. In addition, the maturity of the couple is related or related to the psycho-affective maturity of each member of the same.

Psycho-affective maturity is based on the level of resolution of its own conflicts, which each person has and how he resolves them. This will guide a level of affective maturity that has an impact on the relationship of mate.

In addition, the couple itself will go through a series of maturity levels that is unique for each couple as it will depend on the individual characteristics of each person and the specificity of each couple.

However, beyond specificities, we can list some important aspects to determine the degree of maturity in a relationship:

  1. Respect for each other in every sense is one of the most important aspects.
  2. Healthy and open communication is another relevant aspect.
  3. The ability to transform your reality based on successful completion of projects together.
  4. Being able to feel love for each other over time.
  5. The ability to form a family group that is the subject of its reality and the one that surrounds it with an active position before it.
  6. The ability to maintain individual personal spaces for each member of the couple.
  7. Resolve the conflicts that arise and process them as a positive input to the experience of being a couple.
  8. Reciprocal sincerity.
  9. In depth knowledge, about your partner and of yourself.
  10. The support and support capacity that the couple can be for both of us.
  11. The expiration of prejudices and the capacity for freedom offered by the couple for both members.

In short, these can be very important aspects to take into account when establishing a mature and healthy relationship with your partner. Do you recognize some of them in your behavior and attitudes.