What Is True Love

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It's not easy to distinguish between lust and true love. Most people have grown up believing in the idea of true love.

Film loves to feature romantic stories in which an attractive girl and boy meet and although they do not know one another at all, they fall in love with one another instantly, knowing that they have been made for each other. In the scope of a movie this might be necessary given that they run only two hours. But is that realistic? If so film romances strike faster than lightning! While they show this relationship as love, is this true love?

Let's face it, if you don't get to know somebody then you cannot love them. Sure you can get a crush. A whim starts quickly. Maybe, a boy may be attracted to a girl who smiles kindly at him. He might be the only one that feels something, but she may understand his attraction and respond. The idea of being attractive to another person ignites a certain amount of excitement. When it is fresh and new, everyone wonders, "What's happening to me? I've never felt this way before. I'm probably in love. I think I've finally found the right person for myself."

But has that person really fallen in love with the other person—or have they fallen in love with love! If everything feels like it has fallen into place it might be coming from internally. It takes a greater understanding and connection to safely say: "I'm in love. I think I've finally found the right person for me."

That beautiful feeling of being in love is never a permanent condition without something deeper coming from both partners. Without mutual understanding it's a feeling and feelings come and go. You may be on cloud nine with this beautiful feeling, but if you expect to find it so easily can you expect to hold on to it as easily? Can you accept that you have found it and not become board with it? To think that you will live the rest of your life at that top you will be setting yourself up for a great disappointment.

True love, is more than a beautiful feeling—it's a commitment. A commitment is a decision backed by actions.

Many love relationships develop into solid partnerships, especially when emotional communication proves to be stable and sustainable outside the sexual aspect of a relationship. In a love affair in which no partnership is sought or expected, or which is conducted in parallel with an existing partnership, one speaks of a love affair, a liaison, an extramarital sexual relationship in which sex is paramount. In all these cases can one really speak of true love?

Love is the search for a partner one can trust and share a life, this is why people marry. In true love they are sure in each other's love, despite the presence or absence of romantic feelings at that current moment.

Lust itself is a form of selfish love. First and foremost it is a love generated by what the other person can do for him or her at that point. That form of love always seeks convenience and well-being, not that of the other person's wellbeing. It's selfish and one sided. It's erotic at its heart, that's why it's called Eros after the Greek god who ruled over "Lust, Sex, Eroticism and Sensual Desires" . The person who only has that kind of love uses the other person and does not care about the welfare or the relationship. They live according to their feelings and not according to a commitment.

The opposite of Eros, Agape is a Greco-Christian term referring to love, "the highest form of love, charity," which can be seen as a form of true love. It is a constant love. The partner always wants the best for the other person.

This kind of love is true love. Don't settle for selfish love, a love that only thinks of itself. Seek true love, love Agape, the love it gives, and gives, and continues to give. Seek God first to experience that love and you will never again settle for selfish love or be a person you selfishly love. It's really worth it.

Love gives, it does not take.

Intimacy Comes From Within

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Many couples feel dissatisfied with their relationship on a sexual level and blame their partner; unable to think that there may be other reasons why they don't enjoy sex.

Today, it has become increasingly common to use copulation as a way to express other feelings, or as a way to solve other situations that have nothing to do with intercourse itself. Thus, the erotic relationship becomes a loaded experience, one with a lot of feelings; yet one stripped of its true and subsequent strength, which at the same time inevitably causes dissatisfaction, frustrations, and a sense of lacking.

Research into sexual health has brought forth example that spontaneity to become affectionate and show affection does not often exist between such couples. Thus, many people confuse making love their partner as the only way to expression in how they feel about each other. When this happens, needs are confused, and intimate moments lose passion and are no longer pleasant. Men are more prone to bundling sex together with the expression of love than do women. Today this is less acceptable, what was once one of the only culturally acceptable ways for a man to show affection to his wife is now a limitation.

It is true that sex can be a way of expressing affection, but it is also true that sex must be primarily pleasant for both parties and it is important that there are also other ways of giving and receiving affection that should not disappear in the couple's relationship. To avoid this confusion, it is important that they are clear about their emotional needs on the one hand, and on the other the sexual needs which are present in all healthy couples, without the former diminishing the latter.

So it's important to make it clear that it would be nice to kiss every night before bed, or a hug during the day. Hugging is important because it releases increase levels of oxytocin and reduces blood pressure. There is little question why it is universal in human communities. It is also recommended that the couple take at least 10 minutes every night to be nearby each other and cuddle with their partner without erotic intentions. Cuddle will fill the sentimental desire so that sexual desire can be enjoyed more broadly.

Another wrong reason why many couples make love with one another is to make peace in the household (makeup sex), to be distracted with something else, to combat stress, or compensate for the problems of everyday life. This situation causes a serious problem for many couples, because the person who uses it, that flees into sex, will get used to not facing life and hide in their moments of passion, so that they will soon stop being able to enjoy the moment, and in addition, the other person will never learn to support their partner if it is not a topic easily address which will prevent them from communicating and end up relating sex to help, which completely undermines its potential.

In order to resolve stressful situations in the home it is necessary to learn to open a dialog and to comment sincerely on one's feelings. It is also essential to say what is expected of sex, the needs that are present in the relationship and the gaps in other areas which are not replaced with sexual contact. Likewise, the couple must understand that the pleasure of both is important.

Likewise, some people will evade sex and avoid emotional interaction with their partner, always seeking intimate contact. Instead of talking about their problems they may want to have sex. In this circumstance, what needs to be made clear is that sex is not a substitute for emotions. It complements them and is undeniable that it brings the couple closer, but you must have communication at all levels for it to function, a relationship must include all aspects to be satisfying both erotically and emotionally.

Another common issue in an unhealthy relationship is that some people vent all their frustrations and anger in the sexual act. This is not healthy because you can hurt the couple in a very aggressive outburst, or you can stop enjoying sex, because it always reminds us of the problems of daily life. Alternate to this it might also become enjoyable which is a sign of deeper issues. To avoid all this, we must have true and sincere communication with our partner and also know how to discern when we are not in optimal condition to make love.

In those moments, an intimate conversation or hug may be more effective for the couple.

Anyway, as you can see, it's easier for a sexual relationship to deteriorate by the emotional burden of sex that is added over time, rather than time itself. When the couple manages to get rid of all those non-intimate reasons, they will immediately enjoy the experience more and will be able to experience new horizons.